By Sally Treadwell

Joy. One simple, three-letter word that encompasses fullness of heart, love, thanksgiving, exulting, family, friends, spirit—everything that makes life worth living and celebrating, in other words, and if there’s any one season for joy it undoubtedly runs from Thanksgiving through the New Year.

And if there’s an upside to the economic uncertainty that’s keeping many of us awake at night, it’s this. It gives us pause to think about how we really want our family holidays to be.

Do we want to spend time on a series of mad dashes around shopping malls, impulsively buying and wrapping everything in sight, followed by the inevitable January debt hangover? On mindless, endless to-do lists and how-do-I top-last-year’s gift lists?

Or do we want to spend our time planning, creating, playing and laughing with family? On new and old traditions? And on thoughtful giving that helps us bring us closer to the people we give to?

This month we give you a grab-bag of suggestions for tips making the season bright and beautiful.

Giving Thanks, for All Things Great and Small
Many families have a time-honored tradition of asking each person around the Thanksgiving table to say what they’re most thankful for—and, quite rightly, the answers usually include family, friends, a spouse or partner, home, and health or recovery.

But what about expanding on that tradition? Ask everyone to give thanks for one of the grace notes of daily life as well as something big. For instance, the delight of a dewy spider’s web caught against the early morning sunlight. Or that moment when a drowsy two-year old murmured “I love you” right before falling asleep on your lap during story time.
Advance warning of your new tradition might encourage your guests to focus on the tiny pleasures of life that so often go unremarked.

A Thanksgiving Present
One way to kick off a more frugal and family-oriented holiday season is, oddly, by buying a gift for the family—a new board game. Cyber geeks will groan at first, but games like The Settlers of Catan that increase in subtlety with the age of the players become addictive fast (fans say they actually stay awake nights plotting strategy); old favorites like Clue can be uproarious when you get into character. And, much more importantly, game nights drag everyone away from the TV and Facebook and into a family.

Staying on a Holiday Budget
First, HAVE one. How much can you really afford to spend? Realistically? Without reaching for the Alka-Seltzer when the bills come in?

Make a list of everyone you would like to give a gift to. Include teachers, bus drivers, mail-carriers; all the people you’d like to thank as well as friends and family. Add items like gift wrap and trim; extra food and drink; any must-have decorations; and a couple of extra gifts for those unexpected moments. Divvy up your money (obviously you’ll allot more to your child than, say, the mailman). Write down the budget for each gift, and write down everything you spend, as you spend it—it’ll encourage you to stay on target. If possible, pay cash for everything.

Shop as early as possible to keep stress to a minimum and plan gifts in advance. Leaf through catalogs and magazines, or look online—then try to shop as close to home as possible. You'll save money and gas, while helping the local economy.

Shop the sales, but be wary. Often, 3-for-2 or BOGO sales just get you to buy more than you really need. On the other hand, sometimes you can really simplify your shopping by finding a great gift that will suit a number of different people and bulk-buying it—brie bakers from a craft show, maybe.

Find an astonishing array of coupons online. Just Google the name of the store or restaurant, plus ‘promo code’ or ‘coupon.’

Think outside the mall. Shop locally—you’ll save on gas. Small stores may not run huge full-page ads in the paper but they frequently have great sales or specials, or might be willing to negotiate. Independent bookstores, for example, don’t have the vast array found in a mega-bookstore but they’ll give you sterling advice on good reads (my daughter would never have found all-time favorite The Lightning Thief if not for our local bookseller) and often offer a healthy discount on anything they need to order for you as well. You’ll find unique or unusual items at, say, a wild bird specialist store, a map store or craft cooperative, and much more personal service—while you’re supporting your local economy.

Hand-made & Heart-made Gifts
The nicest gift I ever got was the cushion cover my tender-aged niece painted for me—a wonky, crazy-colored cat that told me she’d really thought about what I like. Home-made gifts give you time to focus on the recipient.

A Voice: Nothing is sweeter than a child’s voice. Your child can make the perfect gift for grandparents or other beloved people simply by making them a permanent “record”—of themselves reading, singing, or telling their own stories or jokes, all downloaded onto a disc and tied in an elegant package. Computers make it easy.

A Letter: Take the time to hand-write a short note or a long letter to someone, telling them what they mean to you and recalling a special time with them. If you are handy with a calligraphy pen, so much the better.

A Poem: Kids might make up an acrostic poem with the first letter of each line spelling out the recipient’s name and a description of them and what they like to do in the body of the poem. A name poem has the name of the recipient as the first line, while subsequent lines touch on adjectives that describe them, the things that they taught the writer, something about them that makes you smile, etc.—kind of like an elaborate dictionary definition. An illustration adds immense charm.

Time: Hand-write an invitation to friends for a Girl’s Night In (or Out) with a description of the time on offer—a long chat over an espresso or a boisterous game of Bunco by the fire. Set up a date for Grandpa to take the kids fishing. Offer your best friends or that struggling single parent down the street a coupon for a night of babysitting and make sure they take you up on it. Buy tickets for you and your mother-in-law to go to that art exhibition or movie you’re both interested in.

Dinner or Goodies: Pumpkin-cranberry bread mix, bean + pasta soup mix, chocolate velvet sauce in a jar…there are any number of dry recipe ingredients that can be packaged up beautifully in a beribboned jar or bag with instructions attached for a simple, inexpensive and much-appreciated gift. Consider making up a black bean soup or chili mix with dried beans, dried onions and spices; adding a package of cornbread ingredients plus cans of corn and chilies to stir in, and wrapping the whole lot in a pretty tea cloth, tied with raffia, or a handy eco bag. Find some great ideas at www.cooksrecipes.com/holiday-recipes/holiday-food-gift-mix-recipes.html

Little Luxuries: Candles, stained glass stars for ornaments or sun catchers, and soaps are all easily made with the kits that are available from craft and discount stores. Or hand-paint a glass vase or jar, or make a Me-and-You book (instructions at familyfun.go.com/arts-and-crafts/season/specialfeature/holiday_gifts_ms/)

For a gift that will bring delight during the drab days of February, hand-paint a terracotta pot and then plant some narcissus or amaryllis bulbs (amaryllis grow amazingly fast and are fun to watch!) and cover with a little moss.

Four perfect hand-made truffles in a cute origami box you made, or a glossy papier-mâché box you found at a discount store, go a long way with hostesses or those people you want to give a little something to.

Again, simplify your gift-giving by making these gifts up in bulk. They’ll suit any number of people on your list.

Tickets and Passes
Twinkie fryers and breakfast sandwich makers will quickly lose their allure, but season passes and tickets to special events promise the recipient FUN for one fabulous night or a year—and they barely need wrapping. Cash-strapped families especially appreciate zoo and science museum memberships, which usually have reciprocal arrangements with facilities in other cities as a wonderful bonus.

Here are a few terrific places to think about: the Georgia Aquarium, ZooAtlanta, the Center for Puppetry Arts, SciWorks, Stone Mountain, Wild Animal Safari, Callaway Gardens, Atlanta Symphony, Legacy Theater, Junction Lanes, Fernbank Museum of Natural History, and Ft. Discovery in Augusta.

Or think about a certificate from a fabulous bakery or for dinner at a favorite restaurant, or tickets for a concert by a beloved band. Teens adore a clutch of movie passes, maybe packaged with an at-home horror movie (all the rage, for some unknown reason).

Go Candlelight
What are you saving all those candles for? Flickering candlelight makes any table or room special. Eat dinner or read stories by candlelight every single night during the holidays; take out the good china or ask your kids to come up with a new centerpiece every day—a little Lego tableau or a dish of treasured pebbles and rocks.

While you’re at it, how about finding a holiday book like A Christmas Carol (or funny version thereof) and reading a chapter or section together every night?

Don’t Groan…
Holiday letters have become a cliché—everyone snickers about what bragfests they are. And many people have eliminated holiday cards and letters as taking up too much time and cash.

But be honest—don’t we love opening up our mailbox to see something besides bills and circulars? And isn’t it great to hear from old friends?

Personally, I can’t do what my aunt does, hand-writing a long letter to everyone, but I love thinking about all those far-flung friends I rarely see. So it’s a joy, not a chore, to scribble addresses and a short note on bright cards while I remember something fun about each person.

And try a twist on holiday letters. Get the whole family together and ask everyone to remember something funny or interesting that happened that year. Holiday letters should give someone the flavor of your family life, not a dull recitation of achievements and a lugubrious account of Great-Uncle Bart’s last illness. (If you need to let people know about a death, this is not the place for extended info—a favorite memory is sufficient).

Or gather up a selection of digital photographs and funny captions on one page, and print.

Or ask your techno-teen to make a short digital movie of a rainy day at home, dad’s disastrous barbecue or the entire family trying to trap an elusive cat to get it to the vet. They will then know how (I don’t know how, but kids do) to cut, edit and add music for a really lively video that can be e-mailed or YouTubed to friends and family.

Giving Outside the Box
Many of us don’t really need or want a mass of gifts, but we do want to share in the spirit of giving. Some families have started a new tradition. They give presents to the kids, sure, but the family’s adults all sit down together for dinner and decide on a charity they would all like to contribute to in the name of the family. Not only do they end by doing something good for the world, but they also discover a lot about each other in the process—who knew that George had a keen interest in the concept of microfinance as a way of eliminating poverty, or that Barbara was thinking about taking night classes to become a physician’s assistant and meanwhile was donating to Doctors Without Borders? One caveat; always check sites like Charity Navigator to ensure that your money is being well-spent. Some very well-known charities are surprisingly cavalier with your cash.

Ask your kids to join in by picking out a child to give to from the Salvation Army’s Angel Tree, or wrapping a shoe box of tiny items for Samaritan’s Purse to send overseas.

Whatever your budget, however much time you have, the holidays have two sides. There’s the “reason for the season”, whether it’s giving thanks or religious ritual, and then there’s the kick-up-your-heels and light-up-the-town part. Honor both, with joy.