by Sally Treadwell

Admit it. You’re ready. They’re ready. It’s back to school time—time to reconnect with friends and routine, time to reconnect with the stimulation of learning every day. But how to get the very best out of the brand-new school year? Read on for a few ideas.

Attitude Talks
It all starts with attitude. We modern parents worry about school in a way that never crossed our own parents’ minds, and our kids often complain about outdated tech equipment, a classroom located in a trailer, strict teachers (yikes).

In truth, though, American schools are great. Think I’m crazy? Of course there are exceptions—some drug and gang-infested pits—and most schools could be substantially better. But having been at school in Kenya, where many children literally begged door-to-door for the money to go to school and then sat absolutely rapt in scruffy cinder block classrooms while being taught from mildewed text books, I start with a feeling of gratitude. Whatever our financial circumstances might be, every single one of our nation’s children has a chance to learn. Essential gratitude and appreciation is a good basis for trying to make positive changes, and it’s a good thing to pass on to your children.

If you want to look at our schools with new eyes, read Greg Mortenson’s highly praised book ‘Three Cups of Tea,’ which is also available in picture book and young reader versions for kids. Mortenson, driven by a chance encounter with Balti children who were trying to teach themselves how to read by scratching in the dirt on an open mountainside, has dedicated his life to building secular schools in remote regions of Asia. Even perennial grouch Thomas Friedman, although opposed to US involvement in Afghanistan, recently wrote after attending the opening of one of Mortenson’s schools, “after witnessing the delight in the faces of those little Afghan girls crowded three to a desk waiting to learn, I found it very hard to write, ‘Let’s just get out of here.’”

Delight. Waiting to learn. Let’s start the new year with that.

Familiarity breeds— well, familiarity
Most schools have an orientation or Meet the Teacher night. Go. No arguments. Remember those butterflies when you started your job, wondering what your co-workers and boss would be like and where the restrooms were? It’s no different for kids. Our littlest children want to meet the adult who’ll be supervising their days while firmly holding our hands; our cocky high-school freshmen are secretly terrified that they’ll get lost on their first day.

And you need to meet the teachers, too. Make it clear that you’ll back them up on matters of discipline such as confiscating cell phones from in-class texters; tell them you want to hear about it if Gina’s homework is missing or Andy can’t conquer calculator skills.

Also let them know that you’ll help wherever possible. You might just have a contact that can make a great field trip or special help happen—a friend installing a micro hydroelectric power plant on her farm; a retired neighbor who’d love to mentor a struggling reader. Look around you, listen. How can you enhance the place your child will spend most of their days in for the next ten months?

Get the school calendar. Note PTA meetings and teacher conference dates and be there. No exceptions. Your involvement means a world of difference.

Life lessons from teachers
We all remember those great teachers—the one who made Shakespeare a joy, or the one who was so entertaining you never even noticed the scads of history you were inhaling.

But bad teachers can teach useful lessons, too.

Lessons on how to get along with people who don’t like you; how to work hard to prove that yes, you can pass Algebra II however derisively your teacher snorts. Lessons about understanding that sometimes people snap when they haven’t slept, and how it’s not stupid to insist on remembering apostrophes or mathematical notations—piffling detail stuff—because college professors and future boss will yell about it too.

Encourage your child to learn those lessons instead of magnifying grievances. However, there are limits. If your child becomes uncharacteristically withdrawn, ask questions and if necessary talk with the principal.

Does your child need a tutor? Maybe.
Maybe. Watch for these signs—a good tutor who’s in tune with your child’s learning style can make all the difference.
• He’s working hard, but his grades are
slipping
• She’s really anxious before a test
• He’s spending a long time on homework,
but it’s still sloppy and incomplete
• She doesn’t want to go to school
• He seems terrified of failure or criticism
• When she’s struggling, she starts
disrupting the classroom or your home
• He loses motivation or starts talking
negatively about himself
• She gets mad at you when you try to help
• He’s gifted and needs substantially more
challenging work
• She’s determined to go to a college with
tough entrance criteria

If money’s an issue, ask your child’s teacher what options are available, or check with your YMCA or Boys and Girls Club. Sometimes all a child needs is a bright teenager to help him through his homework for a minimal fee. You might also be able to barter services, and ask about financial assistance at tutoring centers.

A shot of confidence
Academic tutoring isn’t always the answer. If your child doesn’t seem to be able to cope when things go wrong, here’s a story for you. During WW II the head of the Blue Funnel Shipping Line discovered that when his ships were torpedoed, healthy young merchant seamen were far less likely than the older men to survive in lifeboat situations or frigid ocean waters. Doesn’t make sense, right? So he enlisted the help of one Dr. Kurt Hahn, who quickly figured out that the young seamen were simply inexperienced and hadn’t grown up dealing with difficult situations or learning multiple practical skills. His solution was a 26-day “shot-in-the-arm” course of intense experiences to increase the young men’s self-confidence and ability to overcome challenges. The course worked so well that it survived the war, becoming Outward Bound.

The physical and mental challenges of rigorous outdoor education give kids experiences to draw on when they meet roadblocks, helping them move past them. Challenge courses can sometimes quite dramatically change the way people think about themselves and deal with obstacles. “I can’t do it!” becomes “I can’t believe I DID it!”

A short Outward Bound course or a Sunday afternoon ropes course could be just the thing to get your child out moving forward.

Listen
Parents often complain that they have no clue what’s going on with their kids. So be the chauffeur, discreetly silent while your kids and their friends gossip in the back seat; you’ll be amazed at what you learn. Ask your child to run an errand with you late at night, or lie on the lawn and star-watch with them—darkness often facilitates confidences.

Ask open-ended questions—not, “What did you do in school today?” but “what was the most interesting thing Ms. Nancy said today?” or “I saw you liked doing that construction assignment—did the other kids like it too? What did they make?”

Focus on Focus
Worry much about drugs? Well, think about this—the U.S. produces and consumes about 85 percent of the world's methylphenidate, and its use increased by a whopping 700 percent in just ten years. As for amphetamine use in schools, that increased by 600 percent in just three years.

And that’s just the legal stuff—Ritalin, Adderall, Dexedrine.

I still remember the words of my favorite doctor, the acupuncturist who chased away my daughter’s asthma. When I off-handedly mentioned ADD and ADHD, he got serious. “There are some kids who really do need the drugs,” he said. “But 90 percent of the ones I see are cured by diet alone.”

Whether your child is just a little scattered occasionally, has trouble staying on task, has a volatile temperament, or has been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, think about making some side-effect free dietary changes. (Check with your doctor first if your child has been diagnosed.) Don’t forget that diet, just like a weight loss diet, doesn’t work overnight; it requires time and commitment.

Renowned pediatrician Dr. William Sears has some interesting information about diet and attention issues on his website, www.askdrsears.com. Here are some highlights:

• Studies show that children with low blood levels of Omega 3 fatty acids, DHA and arachidonic acid are far more likely to have attention and behavioral problems, and supplementation can help dramatically.

• 74 percent of hyperactive children in one study had abnormal glucose tolerance tests, making them vulnerable to blood sugar swings—which can cause bad behavior and poor study habits.

• Children who took a multivitamin daily performed better in school, although megavitamin therapy wasn’t helpful. Other studies showed that kids who took vitamin and mineral supplements did better on IQ tests, made greater academic gains, and showed less violent or antisocial tendencies.

• Children who switched to a nutritious diet behaved better and improved their academic performance.

Sears also finds that many kids with ADD or ADHD have food sensitivities—often to the very foods they crave, like peanut butter. (Note that food sensitivities are very different from life-threatening allergies.) Wheat flour sensitivity is also now increasingly common, possibly because we have moved away from the variety of grains we used to eat and eat refined wheat flour almost exclusively, causing system overload. Ask your doctor about blood tests.

And then, well, you know the drill. Cut out the soda and anything with food coloring or preservatives; experiment with unfamiliar varieties of whole grains instead of reaching for donuts and white pasta; read food labels compulsively and ditch anything with a long list of ingredients; shop around the perimeter of the grocery store, loading up particularly on fresh vegetables and fruits. You’re feeding your family’s brains, muscles, lungs, energy, sinew, moods, and complexion—pay attention!

Back to school time is a time of fresh starts. Crisp new school supplies, a new teacher, new routines—what strategies are you going to use to make sure that your children’s minds keep growing as well as their bodies do?