What is the good of your stars and trees, your sunrise and the wind, if they do not enter into our daily lives? ~E.M. Forster

By Sally Treadwell

In the immortal words of Monty Python: And now for something completely different.

Summer camp isn’t school. And thank goodness for that, say the 10 million American children who go to camp each summer.

Summer camp is a chance for kids to stretch their wings and become totally, joyfully, someone else. An animal tracker, say, stalking silently through the woods; or perhaps a sailor, Swallows and Amazons-style. An astronomer. A robotics champion. Someone who does things they never thought they could; someone who risks challenging what they know. And sleep-away camps are an exercise in cheerful competence and learning how to live helter-skelter with a mixed bunch of new people.

Why Summer Camp?
“There are so many reasons,” says Nathan Roark, director of the Buffalo Cove Outdoor Education Center in North Carolina. “Camp allows kids to connect to a different community with different mentors and different friends—throughout life they’ll need to do that, and camp is a great place to grow those skills.

“Whether it’s a wilderness camp or a soccer camp or a horse camp, it should provide a supportive and nurturing community. A good camp allows the growth of the individual—because it’s such a safe space kids begin to realize who they are and who they want to be. Campers have completely removed themselves from the usual patterns of home and school life; they’re living with different rhythms. That allows them to explore and grow.”

Summer camps can be big self-confidence boosters (in one survey, 70% of parents said their children came home with increased self-confidence) and help your children to expand their horizons. They’ll explore distant geographic areas, forge healthy relationships with other adults, make friends with kids from different backgrounds. And try new things. Lots of new things.

Children develop character when they learn to get along with people and deal with adversity; they learn leadership skills and flexibility from good role models. They learn teamwork and responsibility when they meet the challenge of, say, paddling a raft just the right way as they shoot a rapid.

A University of Essex (UK) study found that nature heals stress-related problems, “immunizes” you so that you can cope better in the future, and helps people to focus and think more clearly. Most good camps spend time outdoors fixing (at least temporarily) nature deficit disorder, and that’s a good thing too, Roark says. “As technology grows, we’re forgetting what a healthy life looks like.”

Sadly, some of the most frequently Google-searched camp terms are “fat camp” and “weight-loss camp.” Kids don’t have to worry about such things when they learn about balance early—exercise that happens by accident when you’re busy riding, kayaking, digging a garden, or playing a round or two of ‘Capture the Flag’ instead of slumping in front of the TV; food that tastes divine because you’re really hungry instead of bored or emotionally starved.

But the biggest reason to send your kids to camp is that it’s a time apart.

“I remember going to camp very well,” says Roark, “and it was absolutely magical. You should get all warm and fuzzy when you think about camp.”

How Do I Know When My Child is Ready for Camp?
“When your child is wanting to be independent at home and they’re competent at taking care of themselves—tying shoelaces, getting dressed, brushing teeth—that’s the first step,’ says Roark, who’s occasionally shocked at how much a kid has been babied.

“Then step up to spending the night at sleep-over parties. Once they don’t think twice about sleeping away from their own beds, it’s time to push to the next level.”

It’s important to know your child. Some kids really don’t want to go; others just need encouragement or even a good push. Some kids are eager for sleep-away camps by the age of seven, while others should start with a day camp and progress to a mini-session or a day camp with a one-night sleepover (many canoeing and climbing programs offer this option) before trying a full residential program. A child who is comfortable in large groups and makes friends easily will have an easier time adjusting to camp; on the other hand a carefully-chosen program can help a retiring kid to blossom.

Make sure that your child knows you think camp is a good thing when you begin discussing it—kids will often tune into your fears and tell you what they think you want to hear, even after they’ve reached camp. My mother-in-law still grinds her teeth over driving 800 miles each way to drop her son off at camp in the mountains, only to turn back around when she got a letter from him saying how much he missed her. “They told us to say that,” said her astonished and very happily occupied daring when she turned up.

You should also make sure that your child is truly interested in the program and has some input. If her eyes sparkle when she thinks about sailing, don’t force her into a rigid college prep program. If your son is an obsessed techno-geek, that dude ranch may not be a good fit. There really are camps for every interest, and many offer multiple programs for all ages—the Calvin Center’s many programs include horse camp, a creative arts camp, an adventure camp and even a ‘night owl’ camp that caters to teenagers’ weird inner clocks. (calvincenter.org)

Another option is a weekend parent-child camp. While this won’t achieve many of the objectives of a traditional camp, it can familiarize a cautious child with a strange place and ready them for the next step; it can also be a wonderful family time as your kid helps you—helps YOU!—navigate a high ropes course. The Calvin Center has a parent-child camp June 28-30 that in past years has been very successful in preparing children to jump into bigger adventures.

Bottom line: Don’t rush into a decision. Consider your child carefully, and the camp too.

Back Off, Mom and Dad
You’ve changed their diapers, you’ve cut up their meat, you’ve listened to them sobbing because that kid down the block was mean to them. And now you’re supposed to let them just…vanish… for two whole weeks or more? Without even a phone call?
Yep.

Can I tell you a secret? My kids, who have way cooler lives than me, have gone off without me since they were knee-high to ants—caving and wilderness camping trips, week-long school trips to Washington or the beach, kayaking overnights and climbing weekends.

And as often as I’ve waved goodbye over the last 16 years, I’m still nervous. Every time. But I figure it’s like being scared of flying and taking that 15-hour plane trip to India anyway. It’s just so worth it.

You may, like me, quake inside when you hear later that they were trapped in the campground bathroom because there were bears rummaging around, or that they had to jump onto their backpacks with feet off the ground because a violent thunderstorm hit suddenly. But guess what? They loved it. They may have been scared at the time, but now they feel an exhilarating sense of accomplishment and competence, and man, what a great story to tell Joey on the first day of school!

So please, don’t be one of “those” parents that constantly call the camp, worrying over vitamins and clean underwear. Your kids are fine. Even if they’re bored or scared or lonely sometimes, or they don’t once brush their teeth, not one single time, they’re fine. They’re also learning some of the greatest lessons of their lives. They’re maturing, just the way they should. Wave goodbye cheerfully, and let them do it. And please don’t tell my kids I worry.

Cut the Ties that Bind
Apron strings? No—WIRES. You know, the ones that plug your kids into iPods, Nintendo DS, cell phones and laptops. Wires that connect your kids electronically stop them from connecting in so many other ways.

When she’s plugged in to an iPod on a hike, for example, her body may be getting a great workout but she’ll miss the susurration of the willows, the jack-hammer tapping of a red-headed woodpecker, and the scurrying in the woods that might be…a raccoon? a possum? a cougar? When he’s talking to his best friend back home via FaceBook or a series of text messages, he’s not learning a thing about his diffident bunkmate, who (if he only took the time to ask) has some fabulous stories about living in Dubai or understands totally about getting teased at school. And when she’s playing obsessively on Nintendo, she’s activating only the same old set of neurons, instead of quite literally growing her brain with new experiences.

But plug back in after camp has ended. This is when social networking sites shine—your child would probably never pick up pen and paper to write to that kid from Baltimore he got along with so well, but FaceBook will keep them in each other’s lives.

Paying For It
Sleep-away camps may take your kid to heaven but they can cost the earth. If you don’t have thousands to spare, take heart: there are options.

Both sleep-away and day camps frequently offer multi-child, multi-week, and early registration discounts.

Girl and Boy Scout camps can be amazingly cheap, and so can church camps, YMCA camps, Parks & Rec. camps, and 4H camps. My daughter once took a dream two-week trip to a Wyoming horse ranch via the Badlands and Yellowstone for under $650, courtesy of an energetic and thrifty 4H equestrian leader.

Universities and colleges usually have community outreach programs and academic and sporting camps, and can often subsidize lower income campers. And even the most seemingly out-of-reach camps give scholarships—the American Camping Association’s members, for instance, generate a whopping $39 million in scholarship money.
Bottom line: ask what a camp can do to help if finances are an issue. Apply early. And don’t forget to do your part to pay it forward, pay it back, and keep programs available. Volunteer and participate in children’s programs whenever and wherever you can throughout the year.

Time for You
Some parents feel guilty about sending their kids to camp because they’re secretly looking forward to a little time out. As Raymond Duncan said, “A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp.”

But don’t. It’s good for the whole family when you spend some time strengthening your relationship with your spouse or partner, or have time to reconnect with yourself. It also strengthens you as a parent to understand that your kids can function safely and independently without you and can almost definitely do more than you think.

It’s a clichéd but oh-so-true phrase; parents need to gift their children with both roots and wings. Summer camps will help you do that.

What I like about camping is you can get really dirty. Either you're all by yourself, so no one else sees you, or everyone you're with is just as dirty as you are, so nobody cares. ~Anonymous former Boy Scout, quoted in Highs! Over 150 Ways to Feel Really, Really Good Without Alcohol or Other Drugs by Alex J. Packer